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How Psychedelics Saved Our Marriage and Gave Us Our Life Back

Overview: Author, coach, and entrepreneur Mike Zeller shares a deeply personal journey of healing and transformation, catalyzed by his wife's struggles with complex PTSD and depression. After traditional treatments failed, they turned to alternative therapies, including NAD IV and psychedelic plant medicines. These treatments, combined with somatic therapy, brought about profound healing and restored their family life. Zeller's story underscores the potential of psychedelics in treating severe mental health issues and highlights his newfound mission to help others overcome trauma through his coaching and retreats.

How Psychedelics Saved Our Marriage and Gave Us Our Life Back

March 2022: Since the pandemic, we’ve seen our fair share of weird things on zoom. Now, I’m experiencing it first hand as my wife bolts out of our home, and says, “Take Sonnet!” handing me our baby daughter, leaving for who knows how long, just as I’m about to lead my mastermind call with a dozen entrepreneurs for 90 mins. 

She was experiencing a powerful nervous system inundation, courtesy of the combination of a panic attack and complex PTSD triggers, on top of being a highly sensitive person (a psychological designation thanks to the research of Dr. Elaine Aron). Unfortunately, this wasn’t a one-time occurrence. Almost daily, her nervous system would hit overdrive and cause a spiraling effect.

My wife, Sarah, is an amazing, brilliant, and loving human being. She’s a fantastic mother and wife.

But she was experiencing the debilitating effects of a deep, postpartum battle brought on by her traumatically abusive childhood. She grew up as the oldest child of 11 children, often standing guard between her younger siblings and her narcissistically abusive parents. While they were regularly inflicting physical, emotional, and mental abuse on one another, her parents also saved plenty to spew on their children, especially their oldest.

From the age of 18 months, Sarah's nervous system and neurological wiring were hardwired into an overwhelmed, fight-or-flight PTSD state, reinforced by decades of torment and instability. As the oldest daughter, she often had to step into a motherly role, making meals and caring for sick children while holding babies in her arms, even as young as eight years old, in a household filled with screaming, traumatized children.

Back in early 2022, I was at my dining table with my baby in my arms, teaching entrepreneurs. At that time, I was mostly committed to my work and my role as the breadwinner. However, it slowly began to dawn on me that if I didn’t fully commit to helping my wife get well, we’d never thrive.

I was asking myself the hard questions: 

  • “How can I take care of my wife, my daughter and my business at the same time?
  • “What’s happening to my wife right now while I’m stuck on this call?”
  • “Do all these people who are paying me to be their leader think I’m a fool or that I can’t hold my sh** together?”

Over the course of her mental health battle, we’ve tried so many things. We’ve tried countless fancy, new-fangled treatments that promised great results. Despite undergoing a half dozen types of therapies, investing thousands and thousands of dollars, and dedicating countless hours, the improvements were always short-lived. The only real progress we made was in understanding her condition, but true healing remained elusive.

Each helped with incremental improvements, but these were often short-lived, dissolving within minutes of our baby crying and washing away the good feelings of hope and progress we had only moments before.

Each method was like trying to chip away at an iceberg with a toothpick. Given infinite time, one might eventually get there. Little did I know, she had complex PTSD (C-PTSD), one of the most difficult mental health challenges to overcome. According to the American Psychological Association (APA), complex PTSD and treatment-resistant depression are particularly challenging to treat because there’s no single drug treatment or therapy that consistently cures the symptoms.

The nasty combination of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) coupled with an extreme case of C-PTSD, both easily triggered by a crying child, made matters worse—and our baby, of course, liked to cry.

At this point, we wanted to avoid SSRIs. While they can sometimes help with coping, they rarely reverse a state of depression and have minimal impact on PTSD. Moreover, the unwanted side effects, such as weight gain and neurological dependencies that make it nearly impossible to wean off them, were concerning.

Sitting on that Zoom call, glancing at my daughter while teaching entrepreneurship, I resolved to find a true healing solution. I couldn’t accept that Sarah would be stuck like this forever or that Sonnet would grow up without the amazing, loving mother she is.

When all hope seemed lost, just before I gave in to my own despair, I surrendered to possibilities that didn’t fit my paradigm. Growing up in the South, in a Christian family during the "Dare to Say No to Drugs" era, I was resistant to anything that hinted at drug culture. However, I started looking into psychedelics to see what the buzz was about, as well as an alternative treatment many touted: Nicotinamide Adenine Dinucleotide (NAD).

I had been exposed to NAD’s powerful effects on healing addiction and had read about its potential in mental health. NAD is a naturally occurring coenzyme involved in over 500 cellular processes. It acts as a neurotransmitter (chemicals that transmit signals across a synapse from one neuron to another in the brain), enhancing brain function, and boosts cellular energy, making you feel naturally energized.

On vacation in Denver, after one NAD treatment Sarah and I noticed an immediate uplift in mood and energy. The next day, when I saw her get out of bed easier and faster and with the biggest smile on her face that I’d seen in months, I knew we may have found hope. I was sold on everything about it except the high price (about $500 p/treatment) and painful nausea-inducing infusion.

July 2022: Before her first loading phase of NAD IV, Sarah's sleep pattern was disrupted. She slept for 10 hours per night, took two naps per day, consumed 400 mg of caffeine, and still struggled to function.

However, after undergoing two weeks of NAD IV treatment, there was a remarkable transformation. Sarah began consistently waking up bright-eyed, full of energy, and mentally happier. Her sleep needs reduced to about 7.5 hours per night, with no need for daytime naps. Additionally, her caffeine intake decreased significantly to just 40 mg per day, and she regained the ability to engage in regular workouts. The improvement was nothing short of miraculous.

Thinking we were finally out of the woods, two months later, my wife stumbled down some stairs and fractured her foot. Now, bedridden and stuck with a crying baby due to our nanny's sudden departure for Florida, the PTSD triggers became glaringly apparent to me. I began to wonder if I, too, had PTSD myself.

October 2022: Our journey with psychedelics began with our first heart ceremony. Invited by a friend, we participated in a ceremony involving plant medicines alongside about 20 other journeyers. My wife was in the midst of a depression spiral, and I was grappling with frustration, resentment, and internal struggles, barely hanging in. However, within minutes of the medicine kicking in, my negative emotions dissolved, and I was flooded with love and empathy for her, reciprocated in kind. 

A potent blend of kanna, sassafras, MDMA, and other substances, carefully dosed within a safe and healing environment, created this magical experience. Over the following week, as we gradually came down from the high, our baseline of loving connection soared. It reset our patterns of communication, leading to much deeper, heartfelt connections and significantly less resentment.

For 44 years, I had primarily operated from my mind, but now, a gravel road of connection to my heart had opened up, rapidly expanding over the next year as I continued this inner work. Practically, this newfound connection meant that I could experience profound depths of love for my daughter, wife, and others in a way I had never imagined. Often, while rocking my daughter to sleep at night, I was overwhelmed with such intense love and connection that tears streamed down my cheeks—something that had never happened before.

With newfound hope, I intensified my research on PTSD, psychedelics, and trauma, immersing myself in 7-10 podcasts per week and devouring nine books in just a few months. I held onto the belief that psychedelics might be the missing piece that could fully heal PTSD and depression.

Recent research has revealed incredible results: up to 70% of patients with moderate to severe PTSD may no longer exhibit symptoms after just three MDMA-assisted therapy sessions, combined with preparatory and integration therapy on both sides. Additionally, ketamine has emerged as a rapid-acting antidepressant, while psilocybin (the active ingredient in magic mushrooms) demonstrates powerful antidepressant properties and has shown great promise in clinical trials.

But how could this be possible? My friend, Dr. Manesh Girn, one of the leading psychedelic neuroscientists in North America, has discovered through his research that psychedelics can stimulate surges in our brain’s neuroplasticity (the brain's ability to reorganize itself by forming new neural connections throughout life).

Furthermore, research suggests that psychedelics may relax our beliefs through a phenomenon known as the “REBUS” model. This model posits that under the influence of psychedelics, our deeply ingrained beliefs are temporarily loosened, creating a mental landscape akin to fresh powder on ski slopes.

February 2023: In February 2023, our beautiful daughter, who was about 18 months old at the time, inadvertently triggered my wife's PTSD one Tuesday evening. This led to her spiraling into a state of depression and overwhelm for the next four hours, with a lingering cloud hanging over her the following day. Fortunately, we had a psychedelic therapy session booked for my wife on Wednesday evening.

The following day, while our daughter was at home, she had a full temper tantrum, screaming meltdown lasting 18 minutes. To our surprise, my wife laughed. In that moment, it became clear that she had become detached from the trauma in her nervous system. Something beautiful and transformative had happened. 

Over the coming months, we continued to engage in ceremonial experiences with plant medicine, persisted in our healing journey, and she continued with somatic therapy. We also maintained our NAD optimization through supplementation with Jinfiniti’s Vitality Boost, which provided the equivalent effect of the IV treatments without the discomfort and high cost. Additionally, we reintegrated exercise, cryotherapy, and meditation into our routine while minimizing triggering situations.

Today, after a two-and-a-half-year mental health battle, I am beyond delighted to say that she claims and feels she is cured of depression and approximately 80% cured of C-PTSD. We finally have our life back, and it feels truly amazing. 

Having studied peak performance psychology for 20 years, I initially had a shallow understanding of trauma and its effects, having never experienced it firsthand. However, witnessing numerous miraculous transformations in individuals, marriages, and leaders firsthand sparked a deep passion within me to help others heal and release trauma.

Now, a core focus of my work involves helping leaders heal trauma, release trapped negative emotions or stuck energy, and experience restoration through my Rewired retreats and programs. While I would never wish the dark season we went through on anyone, it has been beautiful and rewarding to witness so many find hope again through our work.

If you or someone you care about is in a dark place, I cannot stress enough that there is hope. Through safe and guided experimentation with different modalities, the right combination can be found to facilitate healing. Don't hesitate to reach out if I can be of assistance. 

About the Author: Mike Zeller is an author, peak performance coach, psychedelic guide, entrepreneur, and speaker with a deep passion for biohacking and mental health. You can visit his website www.mikezeller.com and go to www.neurorewiring.com for his free guide on 14 Tools to Rapidly Rewire Your Nervous System. Mike can be reached at mike@mikezeller.com or @themikezeller on any social media channel if you have questions or interest in one of his Rewired programs.

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